Consistently inconsistent

You would think that by now I would be prepared for the ups and downs that follow Liberation.  Nope.  I am still exuberant on my good days, and anxious on the bad ones.

Today is a perfect 10.  My walking feels effortless; what a gift.  I worked my hamstrings off in PT this morning!  My therapist thinks it is so fun to work with me.  How flattering!  She told another therapist in the office about me yesterday.  It turns out that the other PT used to be a caregiver for a woman with MS.  She was fascinated to hear about CCSVI and it's impact on the whole concept of MS.  I told her about the book  CCSVI as the Cause of Multiple Sclerosis: The Science Behind The Controversial Theory that was written by Marie Rhodes, the second patient who was liberated in the US.  She asked if it was her personal story, and I told her that Marie is a RN.  Her book is a bona fide medical primer on CCSVI, with a forward written by Dr. Mark Haacke.  It will be available in April.  I may have to order a second copy to donate to the clinic!

Two days ago I felt terrible.  My balance was pretty awful. and fatigue was bad.  I was so down wondering if this latest procedure wasn't as successful as the previous one.  It should be MORE successful, not less.  I base that assumption on the bigger balloons that were used, and that Dr. Haskal hopefully did more damage to that nasty left valve.  You know what happens when one assumes...

Yesterday was better than the day before.  I did a big grocery shop, felt pooped afterwards, then went on to make dinner for nine people that night!  I even had energy to do the dishes before bed.

Today was awesome as I noted above.  I need to remember how days like today feel.  As long as I get one of these every three days, I'm happy!  Feeling like a perfect 10 on a daily basis would certainly be better, but I'll take what I can get.

I have my one month follow up appointment with Dr. H on Wednesday.  It is mostly an opportunity for him to see me, check my progress, etc.  I relish the opportunity to have face-time with my new favorite MD.  Maybe he will have good news to share about his study.  Once that study gets approved he will be in high demand.  My days of making an appointment with him only one week in advance will be history!  I will welcome the inconvenience to my lucky little self because it will mean he is busy treating so many others!

So far my wish for a reprieve from the roller coaster ride I've been on does not seem to be coming true.  I naively thought that I'd be wiser the third time around, and not be so emotional.  Yeah, good luck with that Nicole!  I'm going to keep reminding myself that being on this ride is still better than waiting to get on board.  So I'll shut up, keep holding on, and count my blessings daily.