Giving thanks

I have been so overwhelmed over the past month by all of the love and support I've received from family, friends, and generous people I've never even met.  Thank you all.  Your kind words have meant so much to me.

I'm sad to report that since my mom passed away, my health has declined significantly and rapidly.  I'm back to using a cane IN the house, and a scooter in the mall.  The left side of my torso and left leg are almost totally numb.  Does wonders for the balance.  NOT!  Fatigue is back, legs are weak, and my feet are icy, too.  Sigh...

I broke down and did a three day course of IV steroids this week.  I am feeling a lot better already.  My balance is noticeably improved, which makes my walking safer, which makes my life a lot easier!  It is no angioplasty fix, but I have to take care of myself to the best of my ability while I wait, so doing steroids was the right answer.  Thanks to you, you miserably useful steroids.

While feeling poorly stinks, I know that it is only temporary.  I haven't been able to say that in 20 years!  I am so thankful.

I have been living on one very long, twisty, thrilling roller coaster ride throughout 2010.  The highs have been so high, and the lows, well let's just say they were really, really low.

I fully expect that 2011 will be another interesting ride, but I wish it will have more highs, and fewer lows.  Is that possible?  I sure hope so!  Maybe I can get off of the roller coaster this year, and grab a seat on the ferris wheel or the carousel.  They both come full circle like a coaster, but the ride is much more calm and smooth.  That sounds like exactly what I need right now!

In the coming year I am wishing for permanently patent veins, and valves that don't heal or grow back.  Just two things on my list!  Granted they are bigger gifts than anything my wonderful husband or children could wrap for me, but I know that they  would do it if they could!

I am so thankful for that amazing man and those delicious girls!  They are my motivation for (almost) all that I do.  I want to enjoy every minute of life with them.

I have learned over my lifetime that we have only so much control over our destiny.  Things happen without our consent or request.  That's life.  We are, however, absolutely in control over how we manage the hand that we are dealt.

A positive attitude was something I was born with.  It has been my greatest asset throughout my life.  I feel like a buoy floating in the ocean.  I may get batted around A LOT, but I always stay afloat.  Much of that is due to this inner strength that was bestowed upon me in utero.  The rest comes from the wonderful people that I am so lucky to be surrounded by everyday.

Thank you all for caring at all about my CCSVI journey.  I write to document the ride for myself, but I get great satisfaction in thinking that my experiences may help even one person who is following in my footsteps (or Segway or scooter tracks.)

Happy Thanksgiving to you all,
Nicole